Oh it is so frightening to even think about-! My lovely sister Elizabeth has told me I am in danger of falling in love with Mr. Bingley once more. She also says I may make him love me again. (That is assuming if he had ever loved me.) It gives me so much to think about... I love him so dearly, but I cannot let him realize this. The pain of another rejection would be too much for me. I could not live through another heartbreak! But she has such a certainty I cannot help myself when I hope! I do not wish to seem foolish about it all. If I must suffer through heartbreak once more, I shall be an elegant woman. I shall not weep bitterly like I had in the past, and I most certainly will not hate him or see him in a bad light because of a rejection. The answer is simply, really, it would be only: He had not loved me as much as I had loved him.
Oh how I hope I will not be hurt again, even if this time, it would be my own foolishness. I could not bear crying such bitter tears.
This is almost going to be like a diary! Its going to have all of my inner thoughts on what is currently happening... oh my, this is going to be hard work to keep up with!
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