Mr. Darcy's Letter

I cannot stop my own foolish tears! Had I really seemed as if I had not loved Mr. Bingley? Did I not seem to love him as pitifully as I did? I have never felt so much pain; I believe this is worse than when Mr. Bingley himself left... My dear Lizzy, I have never felt so sad, it pains me as much as it likely pains you to read. I wonder if things would be different, if Mr. Bingley and I would be married if I had only shown my feelings more. I cannot bear to face the fact I most likely hurt Mr. Bingley more than how hurt I am at the moment.
Oh I hope Mr. Bingley may forgive me. I cannot believe I hadn't shown my feelings which I knew I felt so deeply. Moving along, mother is likely going to yell at me again. It was my own fault I was heartbroken for so long... I do hope mother is kind to me; I have already punished myself with the loss of a relationship with such a nice, young man.
In turn of my loss, I will try to show my feelings of love much more. I do not ever want to lose anyone again in such a foolish manner.